I want to burst free from these mind chains. I want to find my place in this world. I want to go somewhere I’ve dreamt about in all my dreams; a place I’ve never visited. I’d like to travel the world on a magic carpet. I want to sleep with you as a security blanket. I want to feel that everything is going to be alright. My heart knows it, but my head speaks to me differently. I find myself forgetting the fun-loving person I’ve always been because I drown that person out with my worry. I am blessed with love and yet somehow they find me whispering for attention when that’s not at all what I’m searching for. I think I continue to search for security. I know that I have security, but in this life on earth, things keep changing. I used to be the one that searched for that change; I loved that change. Now I feel like the world doesn’t know what to do with this girl. I’m aware that I’m not of this world, I have been made new through Jesus Christ.
At this point in my life, I have become ecstatic about the future, even throughout my distress of not knowing quite where God wants to put me yet. Through my life He has planned everything out just the way it was supposed to. Life hasn’t gone exactly the way I might have wanted, but through God, so far the final product has turned out better than I though it ever would. God has provided me with a beautiful family. He has provided me with a great education. God has also placed a man in my life who loves me despite my imperfections, my weaknesses, my bad habits, and fears. He has brought me my best friend. When I’m at my worst, he loves me anyway; just as God loves us all unconditionally. God has taken me so many places in life and now I have someone to take the rest of my steps with.
I’m eternally grateful for God’s timing. I’m beginning to learn that God has great timing and I will never stick to mine, I will only stick to His. Though the future might seem scary and unknown, I know that God has a plan. Even though I don’t know what job He might have in place for me, I know that He has not brought me this far to fail. I can’t wait to see what amazing things He has in store, it might be something I could never dream of, but I’ll just wait and see.
