Ashley Kay's Blog

Writing 10-21-10

ashkay907 — Thu, 21 Oct 2010 04:51:27 +0000

You breathe life into me . Every time i see you i want to run into your arms just to get caught in the warmth of your body . You make me feel safe; no one else can touch me in your arms . You give me happiness when i’m at my worst . You take my mind off of this crazy life and help me learn how to take it easy . You are always there when i need you most . you are my best friend, you are my life, and you have all my heart .

Endless Thought

ashkay907 — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 03:53:43 +0000

I can’t begin to describe how I got here. I don’t know how I came to this moment. I’ve never been one to fear change, but lately change has been screaming in my face. I don’t quite know where I’ll end up next. God has a plan for the future, I just haven’t gotten there yet. I get a little scared. I don’t want to leave the here and now, I like it here. I used to love change, but right now I just don’t… I have faith in where I’ll end up and I’m excited about some things in life to come. I’m patiently waiting… or, at least I’m trying my best to gain the patience. I just want that excitement to come. I’m stuck in this moment with nowhere to run. I want to find my running shoes. Hopefully I will get the bigger picture soon. Until then, I’ll be happy right here right now. God has taken me on a roller coaster and until now I’ve enjoyed the ride. Once the ride starts back up again, I know I’ll be on fire. I’m lucky to have the ones I love, I’m just waiting for a career to begin. Even though I can’t see where I’ll be, God can see every piece of time that is my life. I will soon see for myself. It just takes time; God’s time.

Not a Catastrophe; a Beautiful Timing .

ashkay907 — Sat, 22 May 2010 04:29:55 +0000

I want to burst free from these mind chains. I want to find my place in this world. I want to go somewhere I’ve dreamt about in all my dreams; a place I’ve never visited. I’d like to travel the world on a magic carpet. I want to sleep with you as a security blanket. I want to feel that everything is going to be alright. My heart knows it, but my head speaks to me differently. I find myself forgetting the fun-loving person I’ve always been because I drown that person out with my worry. I am blessed with love and yet somehow they find me whispering for attention when that’s not at all what I’m searching for. I think I continue to search for security. I know that I have security, but in this life on earth, things keep changing. I used to be the one that searched for that change; I loved that change. Now I feel like the world doesn’t know what to do with this girl. I’m aware that I’m not of this world, I have been made new through Jesus Christ.

At this point in my life, I have become ecstatic about the future, even throughout my distress of not knowing quite where God wants to put me yet. Through my life He has planned everything out just the way it was supposed to. Life hasn’t gone exactly the way I might have wanted, but through God, so far the final product has turned out better than I though it ever would. God has provided me with a beautiful family. He has provided me with a great education. God has also placed a man in my life who loves me despite my imperfections, my weaknesses, my bad habits, and fears. He has brought me my best friend. When I’m at my worst, he loves me anyway; just as God loves us all unconditionally. God has taken me so many places in life and now I have someone to take the rest of my steps with.

I’m eternally grateful for God’s timing. I’m beginning to learn that God has great timing and I will never stick to mine, I will only stick to His. Though the future might seem scary and unknown, I know that God has a plan. Even though I don’t know what job He might have in place for me, I know that He has not brought me this far to fail. I can’t wait to see what amazing things He has in store, it might be something I could never dream of, but I’ll just wait and see.

Mind

ashkay907 — Sat, 13 Mar 2010 05:07:52 +0000

I would have to say that the mind is quite an interesting thing. Our minds are used for intellect. Without a mind, we would all be crazy. Through it all, what gets me is that although our minds are essential, sometimes I wish I could just turn mine off. I wish life never filled our minds with worry or caused any stress. I dream of the day where my mind is free of worry and there is nothing to fear. I want to be fearless! I wish this, but my life is still about to change drastically. The next few months will scare me to tears, but I have a peace and I know that God already knows where I’m headed and who I’m taking. He has a plan which has not been created by my timing or in my ideal way, but through His awesome plan my future will be revealed! Life can be scary, life can hurt us, life can bring us to tears, but I know that He is near me and He will never leave my side.

My mind is like a ticking heart

Sometimes it feels like stopping to catch a breath

But my heart can’t take a breath

Without its beating, I would be nothing

God has pressed this air into my lungs

And made the blood flow through these veins

I sometimes wish life were easier,

But I don’t believe I understand everything about the full picture

God knows, He knows what will happen before I reach any moment in life

I will choose to trust Him with my life

Because I am positive that I can’t live this life on my own

I need a strong and gentle hand to hold

He is one of the two hands I need to hold

You are the other

Take Heart!

ashkay907 — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 04:53:01 +0000

They’ve sucked the shine from your eyes

That little giddy smile has been crushed

Those blue eyes have been turned to gray ashes

I want your joy back

Life never seems to be easy. I guess it’s not made to be. Who knows really? You give, give, give and somehow people always seem to take. The one’s who are supposed to love you give you words that break. You love, love, love and somehow people always give you hate. Even through all of this, at night I lay down on my pillow and I’m at peace. I know that the Lord above is with me and He will never leave or forsake me. No matter what life brings, the Lord is always on my side. This life never promised us sunny days, but the Lord has promised to supply every need we have, and that His grace is sufficient for us. The Lord is with us even in our times of despair. I cling to Him for security because He is always faithful!

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

A Kid at Christmas .

ashkay907 — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 04:49:16 +0000

In some ways, I wish I was like a kid at Christmas! When I was younger I would anticipate that very moment on Christmas morning, running down the stairs with my brother and sister . I was so excited then . Don’t get me wrong, I still get excited about Christmas, but the same anticipation doesn’t come . That same excitement and joy that filled me as a child has somewhat been lost as I’ve gotten older, but will say that I’ve found one thing about becoming an adult that really tops Christmas as a kid . As an adult I’ve become more excited about giving than getting . As a kid, a lot of the time our focus is on our wants and how we can get those fulfilled . I’ve found now during Christmas that I anticipate the looks on faces of one’s I love when they open their Christmas gifts . I’m more excited about fulfilling others wants than my own . All of a sudden the world doesn’t revolve so much upon myself . I guess most of this comes with maturity and the love that we gain for others .

I try to think about the Christmas story, what the Lord continues to do in my life everyday, and all that he did for me on that cross . He has taught me to put others needs above my own . Sometimes this poses as a difficulty, but I try to find the heart of Christ at Christmas . I’m not so worried about what I receive anymore . I really don’t need anything material for Christmas . God send his gift of love to me and nothing else seems to be that important .

(From “A Precious Moments Christmas”)

Christmas is a time for bows and jingle bells and winter snows…

Of Holly wreaths and colored lights that twinkle in the snowy nights .

Christmas is a time for cakes and other things that Mommy makes…

Of little stockings on the wall with tiny treasures in them all .

Christmas is a time of joy for every little girl and boy…

But just remember Christmas brings much more than toys and other things…

More than tinsel, more than lights, more than jingle bells and snowy nights .

Most of all, this time of year… With all its love and Christmas cheer…

Reminds us of the gift of love that came to us from up above .

ashkay907 — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 05:53:40 +0000

Hey to anyone who might actually read this!

This is my first post, I truly love writing so I thought to myself, “Why not try this out?” It’s late . 12:37 to be precise . I’ve found myself wide awake at this time for the past few nights now . What can i say, I’m a night owl .

Here’s a little about me:

I am a Senior Early Childhood Education major at North Greenville University . I am extremely excited and extremely terrified about graduating in May! My time in college has completely flown by . I am a follower of Christ . Jesus died for me so i choose to live for him . I go to NewSpring Church where God is doing an AMAZING work . I love to laugh . I have an amazing best friend; my sister Kaitlyn . I also have a beautiful niece who is the spitting image of me when I was a baby . I have an awesome family who has always provided for me, and of course I will save one of the best for last. I have a precious boyfriend: Jonathan David Bishop . I couldn’t ask for anyone more sweet, handsome, loving, terrific, awesome, tender, or compassionate as him . God has blessed me with so much!

Until next time!